I'm A Dangerous Girl...

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Ranting, Ranting, Ranting.

For anyone outside of the Guild that I'm on (RPG <3),>

So I'm apart of this guild that I've been a member of for... two years I believe. I have a lot of friends, I've done a lot of roleplays. I'm more of a one on one roleplayer. One on one roleplaying is pretty much where it's only two people doing a story as opposed to three or more people doing one big group plot. Groups get messy. Like really messy. Especially if your GM (game master) is a very, lazy person and doesn't limit the amount of people in the roleplay. Either way, I think one on ones are a lot better and fit my style more than groups, unless there's a small limited number to the group.

Having that said, I have a lot of one on ones I'm doing at the moment. I have a lot of ideas I like to toss around. Normally, I ask that my parents posts once a day or every couple of days, ya know. Well, for some reason, people don't really seem to get that, especially when I see them online! It's like what the fuck?! It's been a fucking week and you can't post? If you're having writer's block then cool, but you can't tell me?! I'm the type of player that does usually 2 or more paragraphs depending on what my partner is giving me. If my partner is giving my one liners, then I'm going to be throwing them out there too. I can only do so much. I'm not a miracle worker for Christ's sake.

Is it really so hard to go on my profile and send me a VM or a PM? Is it REALLY that hard. I know some people have lives outside of the Guild and everything, but not posting for a week when you can post everywhere else? Uhhh that's kind of rude. Even after reminding them and STILL not getting anything because they're ignoring you! What the fuck?! I mean really? If you didn't want to do the roleplay with me, then you shouldn't have asked. You shouldn't have shown interest.

Another thing I hate is when I post like 5 paragraphs worth of shit to go off and I get one little tiny paragraph in return with a promise to edit later. NEVER HAPPENS. Do you know how frustrating that is? Very, very frustrating. I hate it when people do that. I specifically state that if you will not be able to meet my requirements due to previous engagements, then don't even bother! Still, I get those people that promise me they'll do it, and it never happens. I get really pissed when that shit happens.

Thankfully, though there are these awesome few people I'm roleplaying with that actually put up with my 2-3 day grace periods. Sometimes coming up with a post is really hard. Yeah, it can be, I can understand that. At least they actually post and give me a lot to work with. There are a few that have ranked in my top 5 pretty quickly too. I won't name names so no one will get jealous xD Anyway, I've ranted, I feel better, I think my brother is smoking weed in the next room which smells like a fucking skunk's asshole after he sprays, and I need to spray my Glade ^^ See ya next time for my next rant about who knows what!

<3>

Friday, February 26, 2010

Becoming a Serious Blogger? Maybe

I've thought about it. Maybe it's time I do something meaningful with my life. Maybe I should become a blogger and blog about things that are happening in the world today. It seems like I would be a really cool idea. I don't have much of a life, and I don't really like blogging about myself. I do have another blog where I may post stories, but other than that, I don't think I'm going to use this for much else. It sounds like a cool hobby and maybe I can get somewhere with this? I don't know. Just a thought.

Friday, May 1, 2009

There's A Threat In The House

The threat of seperation.

The threat of divorce.

The threat of tears.

Sadness.

Fear.

Depression.

The threats are there. So many of them exist. There all here now. In my house. All are unwanted. All are wanted to leave. All want to stay and hang over our heads. All are threatening to fall down at any minute. All are waiting for the breaking point. The one that will start the storm. The one that will have a false calm. The one that will make us all think the worst is over and bring us more pain.

What is one to do when one is so small and helpless? What should that one person do when the divorce is wanted? The one that wants it or the serperation. Is she wrong for wanting it? Is she a bad kid for wanting it? Should she burn for all to see for that want? Should she be punished? All of those things run across her mind now as she writes this. She's not sure how she should feel about the situation, but she knows she wants him to leave. To leave and never come back to her house again. To never bring her mother pain ever.

Temptations run across her mind. Thinking about it makes her fingers itch to spill blood. She won't though. She knows better. She can do better. She will do better than that. She won't do it, no. She's going to resist the temptations of the blade. To resist the tempations of the drugs. Resist it all to hell and back no matter how much it takes. She'll do it this time. She'll cry her eyes out if she has to. No matter the cost, she's telling herself. Her tears are threatening to spill over. That dreaded 'T' word once more. It's there for all the eyes to see. Threat. Treat. Threat. That word. That damned word.

What to do? She asks herself. What should she do with herself now? She fears the temptations. She fears them and they know it. She wants to turn to them, to comfort her like they always have. They beckon her forwards with tempting fingers. Beckon with soft voices. They beckon with the promise of comfort and a shoulder to cry on. She wants it. She wants it all, but she knows better. She made a promise. She's going to keep that promise to the one she loves so much. She won't hurt him again the way she did before. Not ever again. She won't do it.

She starts to think about his heart break. It makes her heart rip more and more with each thought. She knows he cares. She cares for him just as much. The temptations are calling on one side, the Devil on her shoulder, the Promise on the other, the Angel. She knows salvation can be found in the Promise, but is that really where she wants to turn? Does the Promise have comfort, a shoulder to cry on? Of course it does. In that Promise he is waiting. The One and Only.

The tempting calls are stronger still. It's all she's known for who knows how long. She's afraid that the Temptations are all she'll ever know for the rest of her life. Promises have been broken to her in the past. The promise of salvation, of comfort, of love. She's worried about the Promise she made to him. The Promise that souly belongs to him and him alone. The Promise offers light. His light. The Temptations offer darkness. More sadness. She doesn't want more sadness. She won't be able to handle it, but is the Promise really worth it?